Moving to senior living is one of the largest transitions ever made. It’s not a transition for just the senior but the family unit, as well. Often, families are caught in the position of having to make this decision during the most stressful of times, where changes needing to happen for health and safety considerations make moving necessary. Yet at the same time, such efforts may overwhelm a senior and family members by making hurried decisions that complicate this part of life later on. Understanding the life cycle of moving to senior living helps families understand wants, needs and desires without making it so combative later.
Essentially, the earlier the family broaches the subject, the easier it is for everyone down the line. Those thrust into a new chapter due to emergent circumstances have far less leeway for contemplation. But if everyone can come to terms with the reality that no one wants to leave the life they’ve built (especially because some seniors may not have even liked it for a very long time), proactive measures are easier than reactive ones before anyone realizes they no longer can appreciate daily necessities in a place they call home.
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Having The Conversation Too Early Isn’t Enough
Having a conversation about senior living isn’t an easy topic to broach. One of the hardest realities about aging parents is that they know they’ve aged but they don’t want anyone else to know – and in addition to that, be told they’re no longer able to provide necessary care for themselves. Thus, ideally, the best sentiment comes from not addressing a problem at present, but instead talking about future planning – how do we preserve quality of life going forward instead of acknowledging our decline and doing nothing.
For example, families can assess what seniors like about their homes now, what their thoughts are on aging with their age-able preferences but witnessing friends in assisted living communities, or how they would feel about where they wanted to be in 10-20 years. Not directly asking them where they’d like to live because (in their minds) they’re not ready yet – but casually acknowledging when appropriate how their comfort might be in their current home but even better in an assisted living community in the area might be beneficial over time for the conversation. Families who are already looking into assisted living options in the area might be more attuned after these inklings have begun.
In addition, families shouldn’t have this conversation when tensions are high or when seniors feel cornered or uninspired. Many families come together during holiday seasons and family gatherings – this is a natural time to start suggesting changes – even if it’s one small suggestion at a time – where everyone has time to acclimate for reevaluation later on. Thus, there isn’t one discussion but an ongoing possibility.
Evaluating The Type of Care Required
Transitioning into senior living doesn’t mean it’s one thing – the greater independent living sector boasts differentiated community types, levels of care and nuanced options for aging seniors. Independent living communities service those seniors who can still navigate their ADLs but enjoy a maintenance-free lifestyle without hassle or upkeep. On the other hand, assisted living provides alternative caregiving measures for those needing assistance with daily tasks but still struggling to overcome personal obstacles along the way. Memory care is dementia-specific situations where specialized levels of care are needed to uncover common pitfalls in memory and behavior.
When families start doing research in assisted living and senior living facilities in their neighborhoods they find options they never saw existed before. Some communities have tiered care systems which allow residents to age in place – but with stronger levels of support once their needs become apparent. Other communities are niche and particular with conditions or cultural appeal which works better for certain seniors than others.
Acknowledging these distinctions allows families to debate choices under certain criteria instead of lumping them all together as catch-all “homes.” Understanding these different care levels helps families have more informed conversations about preferences and concerns rather than talking generically about senior living without considering the specific type of support that would work best.
Understanding Senior Input During Changes Helps
If seniors feel like they’ve had a say in decision making rather than being told what’s going to happen during a transitional period, the transition becomes smoother. Seniors should be welcome on tours (not just online browsing), encouraged to ask questions and given an opportunity to voice concerns – even if family members don’t want to hear what’s important, they’re at least hearing them out.
From a senior perspective, food quality, options for housekeeping and proximity to medical needs may be most important. From someone else’s perspective, socialization opportunities may have more weight as does religious services and pet policies. Whatever’s considered valuable – as long as one’s allowed an opinion and respected after decisions are made – falls into the crux of happy transitions associated with moving.
In addition, timeframes for decision making should be up to how comfortable everyone feels – some seniors may need more time for everything to settle before making a big decision – but others may be more comforted when things move quickly after seeing what’s available. Respect is critical every step of the way; imposed timelines stress everyone out unnecessarily when compassion should reign supreme .
The Emotional Reality Of Change
Moving to senior living represents loss – a loss of independence, loss of home, loss of lifestyle, loss of preference as residents no longer have control over how they’d like to age their lives. Understanding that such changes occur while potentially spotlighting possible benefits helps transition all emotionally involved in the situation.
Seniors will miss what they’re leaving behind and nostalgically – but with rose-colored glasses – look forward (literally) to what’s ahead – an error far too commonly taken with old age that complicates times during life that should be relatively stress-free. Adult children have their emotional struggles because they feel as if they could’ve provided better care for Mom/Dad; they’re worried how well Mom/Dad will transition; they’re sad Mom/Dad aren’t the same parents they’ve always known them to be.
While it’s normal for those connected to feel this way – including adult children – it’s critical that all family members acknowledge their validity but understand such emotions can cloud judgment unless action is taken quickly in an effort that honors how family members feel now they’ve empowered themselves – and all family members – in making these decisions .
The Role of Outside Help Makes Transition Easier
Counselors, social workers and clergy can aid transitional periods for families doing what’s best during times of stress – since a neutral party has more difficult conversations or points than family members who feel burdened with extra responsibility as they want momentum until stability emerges.
There are many practical realities associated with moving parents into senior living that require practicalities beyond expectation – from downsizing an expansive family home into a small memory-creating apartment – and deciding which items need thrown away, stored or passed down creates practical pitfalls better encouraged sooner rather than later (i.e., beyond stressful decision).
Photo albums, memory books and keepsakes (family photos/tchotchkes from friends) facilitates familiarity from place A to place B – from apartments with favorite couches and treasured portraits feeling more like home than just an outsider space so seniors don’t feel cramped in an unfamiliar setting. Even arranging visits from old friends into new spaces – or still attending religious services at places they’ve gone frequently before but keeping medical appointments with old professionals when possible – makes a difference since preconceived negative ideas about aging/health don’t come true during complicated times at such confusing ages.
Building New Community Connections
As soon as new residents find community engagement opportunities that spawn new socializations AND become familiar with routines necessary since they’ve known them forever – time isn’t on anyone’s side for no good reason. This requires active acclimation around community activities/outings/groups/volunteer opportunities – even antiquated policies/new practices implemented that make new residents feel welcomed into their new homes instead of learning on an as-you-go basis – and not for good reason.
Family involvement remains essential post-transition; frequent visits support positive change and regular conversations maintain connections instead of losing interest quickly after partially showing up to help out because it was better for themselves than anyone else. Yet seniors must learn independence through balance once this new space is created – the goal is NOT raiding a senior’s new home to see what’s inside; it’s understanding what’s best after transitioning from one great thing into another for everyone involved.
Conclusion: Proactive Techniques Make Transition Easier
Moving into senior living is not hard – it’s NOT easy because people aren’t prepared ahead of time – it’s only easy when compassionate approaches come naturally over time with expectations set instead of literally ripping off the Band-Aid and exploding them from one life into another without any middle ground facilitation present .
Those who find compassion through action appreciate what’s perceived as an end – the transition can be a new beginning – for everyone involved.
